of me

of all the vague possibilities, i could have been a little kid with no time to play..
to crawl upon the slide..
yet a stupid one to hide myself in the books..
and so was the notion..
but i did play..with boys.. with girls..
and here i stand today..playing with spaces..
calling myself a would-be architect..
overruling the chances of speaking and writing for the world..
for me!!


but dreams or habits do manifest themselves..
with me its about being an architect..
yet to express more than just in terms of buildings or spaces..
to make out words.. to play with them, along with those colors..


i may not get a reader or client..
sad enough on my part..colleagues pitying..
but false- needs not be told!!
out of the few minutes(hours are a distant dream!!) i afford sleep..
things decide to go mayhem..they run about..
to kill me..
to kill my love.. 
to kill black and white..


and all this turn around on me..
take a heavy toll.. on my buildings..
they get that disgusted too.. 
while i satisfy my needs by the coins..


and that's the whole pointt about getting into this..
you have black to guard your darkness..
money to jingle up your mood..
and work to make you feel important..


and yet there's so much left..
pessimism never got over!!