down the alleys

i walked at my will, to your pathways, just to find you lingering around.
you run to roads,different and higher.
i hope to find you somewhere,
we may not be lonely then, but crowds can be left behind..
i hope to walk with you someday!!

words just dont come

you know it, its when you speak..and yet feel weird..
you do express, but things remain unsaid.
like a phone ringing and you cant pick it up,
only coz you are sitting all packed up, but you have your "CALL OF YOUR LIFETIME" pacing up!!
its a weird situation!!
when you know things, yet you cant say..
it may be fear,introversy, or i dont know what..
but its there..
that little pricking thing..and it takes away your sleep, your dreams..
and you can only stare..
with eyes, big, bigger, and then the biggest!!!
you feel claustrophobic, like all your things get sucked up in the next tornado..
and you stand..
helpless.. as if in hell
its bad that way.

count down down down

just when its only a month left..
i let my dreams fly..
and myself to rest back..in my room..
in my darkness.. the subtle clatter!!!

train lines

i speak,you speak..
and no its not chaos this time..
its different..its about putting your opinions..
making slogans, banners, and more of it..
its a network..of tracks...people..clothes..
rather a mesh...
you are lost.. and you cant find your way back..
and all i can do is to wait and watch..
and see you struggle..
you are helpless..
you cry..and cry more..
and then break me!!

lost in the transparency

i think i show too much of  it..lets call it restlessness..
insecurity..
vulnerability..
and i say i am an architect..
irresponsible..
boast of it..
like my buildings do..on paper though..
and you read me..my mind..so easy
i dont know about what idea you get,rather impression..
they are meant to show me..
as a startled being..
i dont know rather, what i am writing..

lets end it up!!!

you speak..or i hear..
or lets just sit beside them..
and yet be lost..
into the crowd-i say,
in the serene-you say..
known things be lost..

let us be new!!!

together-ness

what definition actually is..it is lost..
and suddenly i forgot you..
you became murky..
and i was lost..
i blamed you..
and you thought it was you..
we forgot us..

that crazy little book

you are getting over me..and i need to switch places..
my department..
i pass by shops. look and stare..and go on..
i get envious..and suddenly i know its jealousy..
of not being near you..
i shouldn't have switched..

and i cry of regret..doing so ..
so very often..that i hate to even look..anymore..
you are so abstract a feeling..you run down in my spine..
to get me chills..on coffee-ed nights..
and then pull me
tear me into pieces..and make me suffer!!!

and yet i regret..go on with it..

yes..

stupid feelings

i say i love you.. and will miss you..even amidst the every chaos,
you present me with..
i change colors..
make codes which i know i will forget, but still..
its like an unrealised dream
why i give you so much importance..

yes i know i am being contradictory..
and you know it too well..
your age defies my logic..and i dont understand too..
and its so weird that i go on continuing..
with what i had been doing..
loving the most..
i cannot express rather well
these are abstract beings..
feelings you call them..

and i thought love was simpler..

i go crazy over you

i seem to have mental block at times..like now..
cant write, think..or rather..i think..too much of it.
only to get jammed..
not that i am thinking too much of you..
i am only to draw up something.. to conclude, i would say..
i press enter, every time i cant think of something to end..
beginnings are so easy at times..

and then we need that impetus,
to start even the simplest doodle..
songs play in the background..and time..
it flies, sails, and does everything but to wait..

and we go one with the doodles..
last moment sketching..pens and oodles of ink..
coffee.. its such an eye opener
and yet, we cant fill up sheets..
rather, only me...

you think i am wasting my time here..
on the world wide web..
lost..
yes i am... and i need no saviour!!

and i am cynical,frustrated..
a bit prudent..
like all others, of my genre..
or even more than that..

and mind you..dont take this for a poem..
everytime you see..i tend to swoon!!!!

chemo works,yes it does!!!

the wind waits for none..niether time..
and they served me the therapy..

took away you ..

and i am re-living..
smiling..

the story of unknown

yellow lights are good, they give the gist..
of an entire love story..
of the romanticism..
of the many niches,where love can be weaved..
of the many laughs, you ought to share..
of the trees, of the rocks,and plentiful of music..

of a nostalgia..

of that girl..
who grew up to be..
with the red..and flowers..
with gold..and a scent of being herself..

monotony

i fall in love with people..so contradictory to me..to black..and yes..to blue..
who love things, that i do not..
i may like..
but not love...

they love grey, like parties, hugging friends..
and they love to be quiet..
they do not like reading me..
and they do not give straight answers..
and i detest it all..
i love being read..
to be criticised.. to sit lonely..and stare..
at windows,skies,to speak out only when required.

and yes,they were nerdy..wearing out..
they were so unlike me..
and i guess thats what made me love them..
wanted me to be with them..
to get surprised, everytime i unexpectedly saw them..
and did a little transient jig in my heart..
to write about how i felt..happy..sad..stupid unkempt emotions

i guess thats how it is..

romanticism

sultry afternoons..
which bring back memories..
and nostalgia..
of a meeting,
and then a walk in the rain..
which was never there...
halucinated!!

habits

and its good at times to be under an impression,so what false..
but atleast makes you happy..
for the time being..
but its not worth it,all the same
coz you need to change your habits..
daily routine..
become monotonous again..
yeah its really bad..
contradiction you see!!

an ode

you,
yes you..
its you again..
and everytime..
it'll be you..
i am here for you..
an will be there...
and yet you disagree..
for being my reason..
you are it...
the you in me...that makes me live..
go about things..
say things, write poems..
yes i do..
i boast about..
only for you..
and yet you behave so unknown..
may be i'll be paid..or not
i dont care..
coz i'll be still doing this...again and again..
for maybe unknown no. of days..
and months to come..
years...
just for the sake of you..
the one..
the only one...
perhaps i'll break down sometime..
perhaps maybe this page goes to ashtray..
oh there are so many possibilites..
like the heartbeats..
rain drops..
to stop..
suddenly..
and then you..
will be mine..
or the vice- versa...

lets keep it different..
make it us..and be we..
for ourselves..
for us..
and then everything else falls back to place..
strangers..relatives..friends...lovers...
words...

LOVE : here and there

we like to walk..in alleys, roads,quieter place..
where trees gape..
and inquisitive windows peek

we enjoy songs, with guitar strings thrown apart..
and play 29 with our love as the partner..
we monopolise our city..
our songs, dance, our food..
we proudly announce about our boy friend's job.

we eat,
go on dates every alternate day..
even groundnuts will do..
we go for movies in groups,
yet like to sit beside our love.

we are adamant..
when others pull our legs,
about the guy we are dating..
we love others too..
their food..
the alleys that lead to them..
where we just hold hands..
but others get closer..
kiss, make love..
and we cry of shame..
and then unknowingly, we concentrate on the food..

we like green,
with those bamboo stalks pining to be visible... 
and yet love the red vermillion at mid-year festivities..
and the grape vines, dusty and filthy..
they make us nostalgic..
then there is the known address..

we are what we are..

and we wonder how new places would greet us..

for you, a thousand times over...

and then you go red and black..and i ought to get inspired.
i drool in your awesome-ness...
your dresses..the halucination..
the cartoons..and i like a filthy animal..ogle at you..
gaping, is what you call.

oh yes...
you are the star..
the world whirls around you..

i can only spin words for you..
abstract though....

you will throw them, i know.
and yet i write.
i strive to write..
coz i do that only..
i..
a mere....

wait..
i dont have an identity..
i dont have a name..
i can only write..
to you..
for you..

1st day of exam

its another day, today...the sun was bright..and i got late yet..the bus was late too..
so typical of a Calcuttan day.
i rushed..through the roads..
stairs..notes..
and mugged up too...
used my rotering, hands, and a bit of memory..
formulas suck...!!!
and i do too...
when i start turning a bully....
bit of it though..
i wrote.. words..numbers..i played with them...
i exchanged answers..
and i was happy about it...

thats my day..
wasnt particularly so...
yet so much left..
the cuteness.. the bitching.. the phone calls..
the messages i caress..
and yet i call it a day!!

its not yet the end..
as i thought.
you arent yet there in it..
and i wait..

love changes, as i forget you

we think we can always be positive,
enough to bring down a whole new world at our feet..
starting anew..


the past shadows..woes..grievances..love..
they keep you down..
until you fight back..
to get over them..
and then its all over!!




new life.. new love..the beautiful austere face..
eyes..smile..the walk..hands..
and sitting beside every time..
we call this love..and that subtle feeling...
nice and good.


love is about it all..


winds and rain mixed together..
to bring you that lovely lady..
sometimes in casuals..
at times in a gown..
the faces being different..
but love prevails...

and i hate submissions !!!

backless tops are so not in..
must be coz we architects get bending...
leaning..
and breaking every now and then!!
vexed..messed...and ..
no words remain any more!!


the nights come falling..
as we fall in love every now and then.
like fingers move about on you hands.


and i go walking ..
corridors..
pavements..


and then to the city!!!

i love rain in summer

the colors fly..
and i collect notes.. new ones..
drain off sleep..
and be happy....
yet lousy ..
the same old drafting lines,
set-squares.. dirty with toil..
and me..
with thoughts..


as i drag myself through the rows of chairs!!


splayed bricks, eating shacks, they call me..
and i surrender..

editorial

the marker lost its ink.. but still my hands couldn't stop..
like design never ended..
green frustrated beings, which make loads of norms to be followed.
and what ultimately results is just a handful!!


and that's what i am about to face in a few days time.
to write, its easier.. to speak a bit tougher..
and to show, the worst!!


i'll be proud to speak,
few others will be snoring,
some will gape at me.
and two might be happy.


its so relative a thing, that we wish it to universal!!
i miss you at times..
and try to remember your words too..
hoping to be consoled,
but end up screwing up;


oh yes, i am an architect!!
and responsibly careless enough..

relationship

to hold that piece of misery within.. 
i lay down the entire night with it, just to think it'll be gone, 
to stop crying further, and to leave back its ashes only..
but how it could be so betraying a thing..


ma had to intervene, 
not that i wanted it..
but certain things are better known to her..


i wait for certain things to happen..
and the wait is making me all the more impatient...
this all might seem to be rubbish..like it is actually so..


but that's where the charisma is born to life..
the eyes know it all-
the wait, happiness, eagerness, anxiety, pain..
and what more could i define on their part..
i could choose though.. but couldn't have had a better outcome..
didn't want it to be explicit..


just a coffee, a movie, specs, sketch pads, and the more of it...

fog

the wintry morning of January..
to stay back, a reason.
to love you back,
and the fire too..
in gloves and the view outside..
i shiver,
the fog condensed on glass..
to wipe it off..
and then to go back to you.
the few steps of rising wilderness..
to hold your hand..
and be with that subtle assurance..


but things are costly..
so were you..
your hand..
the fire..
love..

playing around

to you..
to her..
and him..
to growth..
to innocence,
colors and pencils.
to hills and the yellow sun,
to pink flowers and chipped nails
to the sand towers
and little puppies.
to dripping raincoats,
and dancing about with chocolates..
to exam dates..
and merry-go-rounds..

to be or not to be

i write, i design a little, browsing through those photographs,

occasionally replying texts..

i have few readers..

and no clients!!

and yet i love that man who screams of Idea, religiously!!

i dream of writing..

of making out spaces

and innovation calls me too..

i argue and settle down..

get colder sometimes,

and feel threatened by my surroundings..

and when time ditches me back,

i hate to blame myself

for the wrong i do to me!!

i hardly make calls,

like talking about things to myself..

i dream, yes, become strange at times..

and i love to walk.. 

and sit beside the driver, when in car!!

people may be finding this all non-sensical,

like they find me

and i am yet so new to be discovered!!